I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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