I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
