your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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