I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's the barista slut.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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