On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We are two peas in an std pod
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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