This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
