so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Shame - the story of my life.
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