I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
