Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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