She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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