He disabled his match.com account in front of me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
