Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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