I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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