Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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