Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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