hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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