Your face is a jimmy john
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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