Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
sex in a hospital.. check
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
