it wasn't lemon gatorade
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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