Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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