the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
