Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
