As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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