i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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