I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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