The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
