Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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