I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
