Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
