I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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