i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there's paper in my vomit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
