yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
