Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
