you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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