that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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