THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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