he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
