Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
