exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
