If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
