Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
