so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
