Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
