Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im drinking this country out of the recession.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
