Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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