I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
