If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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