dude i'm inner monologue high
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
