He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
