i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
